Appreciation vs. Expectation (Written version of my Speech)

One of the best Life Lessons I learned was from Comedian Kyle Cease. He’s been a Comedian for over 20 years but the past few years he’s switched to Personal Development events instead.

What makes Kyle different than other speakers, is that all of his content on stage is spontaneous instead of planned out. His goal is to help others let go of their old story so they can use their gifts to their full potential.

Kyle randomly chooses people from the audience who raise their hand, and they come up on stage and do a mini therapy-type session with him.

At one point in the event “Evolving Out Loud” Kyle asked a few people to line up on either side of the auditorium. On his left were people that wanted to share something or ask a question, but it would be okay with them if they didn’t get a turn.

Then he asked a few people to line up on the right side aisle. People who were desperate to talk with him and it would be the end of the world if they did not get a turn.

The difference in energy from the different sides just blew my mind!


Kyle started with the first person to his left, on the appreciation side. The man had something nice to say about what was talked about earlier that day and made everyone smile and feel good.

Then Kyle walked over to his right, and the lady was upset with him because she had traveled there and spent money and she still was not feeling any better. She was expecting of him the impossible and he felt like he was in trouble. They talked it through and eventually she started to shift her mindset to a different possibility, that she was responsible for her own happiness and that her breakthrough would come in a different way then she expected.

After that was the other side’s turn, he walked all the way over to that side and was greeted with a grateful hug and a lady who said that she was there to hold space for others and that she had gotten so much already out of the event but applying the lessons other people were getting on stage, to her own life.

Last but not least he made his way over to the expectations side and was taken aback by a lady seemed angry at the world for injustice, and she was explaining about the cause she was fighting for. Her energy actually pushed Kyle backwards, I’ll never forget as he backed up away from her because it seemed a scary place to be.

He explained to her how loving the world, works far better than fighting the world and that an energy of love would invite others to co-create with her to make change in the world, instead of scaring people away by her anger and negativity.

I learned that the energy I was giving off when I was desperate for others to love me or make me happy or insisting that I would be the one to make them happy, was actually repelling them. When I interacted with my teens I especially noticed it. My fearful energy made them want to hide in their rooms, but the energy of appreciation and being okay with whatever transpired, made them feel more open with me.

Now I often ask myself, what kind of energy am I’m bringing to the table? Am I only inviting those who want to join me in focusing on what was wrong? I’m not perfect but I’m becoming more aware. 

The life lesson here was for me to be responsible for my own happiness and not have my happiness depend on what others do or say, and to make sure I am bringing the energy of appreciation to my relationships instead of expectation.

Source: Mindful Regeneration

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